The Rules of Dating With Modesty
Teen and young adult dating should not be a sexual free-for-all. There, I’ve said it.
If agree with me keep reading, if you think otherwise,
click here to leave this article.
“Hooking up” demeans the woman and the man as the body becomes nothing
more than a sexual unit with no conscience, and supposedly no feelings,
intertwined and comprised to the sexual act itself.
Bowling would be a great alternative. Burn approximately the same calories, have time to talk together and best of all there won’t be an unplanned surprise nine months later.
But that is a whole other discussion/
There is always an option to the “sex before marriage” argument.
I have yet to receive an email from a woman (or a man) that didn’t show
regret for taking part in a “friends with benefits” type relationship
where feelings were not initially to be involved (FWB means just casual
sex with someone that you at the outset, don’t want to have a serious
boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with), but the emotional connection
starts to show up by one of the two only that are involved.
Heartache and shame follow as the realization becomes apparent that sex was the only considered connection that really is really happening and nothing more is expected by the other person. And when you wanted more such as a real dating relationship, there is rejection.
Intercourse without the possibility of a relationship,
but not just casual sex, planned get-togethers, intimate moments sharing
life’s ups and downs, regular “bootie calls” that will not lead to a
serious relationship are demeaning to both people. The body becomes a
jungle gym, to be climbed over and explored but to not be concerned with
once the trip to the park is over.
Don’t fall for this. Regret lasts a lifetime.
If you change your outlook on dating by putting yourself first, even by
including your faith in your dating decisions, by limiting to a big
degree the sexual contact you will have with friends that just want to
“hook up” and not commit to any type of relationship, then these are the
rules for you to follow.
They won’t necessarily lead to Mr. Right (or Mrs.
Right) but they will certainly aid you in identifying and not dating Mr.
Wrong (or Ms. Wrong)
Modesty defined:
1. The state or quality of being modest.
2. Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.
3. Lack of pretentiousness; simplicity.
Noun
1.modesty - freedom from vanity or conceit
modestness
decency - the quality of conforming to standards of propriety and
morality
Grundyism, primness, prudery, prudishness - excessive or affected
modesty
immodesty - the trait of being vain and conceited
2.modesty - formality and propriety of manner
reserve
correctitude, properness, propriety - correct or appropriate behavior
demureness - the trait of behaving with reserve and decorum
From:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/modesty
Unfortunately you won’t find a lot of “modest fashion gurus” online. But
there are examples in your everyday life of what not to wear and how to
change the style of what is not appropriate to a personal fashion
statement that tells the world who you are, as well as there are
examples people and their clothing style that you do see everyday. You
have choices to make. And you want to make the right ones!
Women:
Take a look at the current clothes you have in your closet. Create piles
of:
Low-cut waist jeans
Slacks that are comfortable to wear
Almost too tight pants
Tight single layer tops
Skirts above the knee
Church clothes
Party clothes (casual)
Party clothes (formal)
T-shirts with logos or other designs on them
Thongs and low cut cup bras
Men:
Take a look at the current clothes you have in your closet. Create piles
of:
Muscle/tight tshirts and logo, “quote sayings” tshirts”
Baggie jeans
Any shirts that seem to be put on in layers but are all one shirt
Hoodies with logos
Dress shirts
Regular slacks
Party clothes (casual)
Party clothes (forma suit and tie styles)
Now that the stacking is done, separate the clothes now into just to
piles:
Clothes that I would wear to an important business meeting or job
interview and all other clothes (underwear is somewhat optional in that
if you were in a car accident would you want a stranger to see what you
have under your clothes?)
From now decide to wear your better clothes. Show acceptance of your
ability to dress well. Save all the other clothes in a box(es) to only
be taken out in emergency situations or just give them away. This will
also give you a great reason to go clothes shopping to enforce your new
modesty goals and stock your wardrobe with clothes that aid in you
displaying the true you: a modestly exposed person.
Now that we have discussed your outward appearance we should move on to
the acceptable interactions between male and female.
This is where what we’re going to discuss gets really tough… after all,
I don’t know you other than the fact that you’re looking for a dating
guideline that does not condone sex during dating, and has much more
protective (some would say) and less revealing clothing as the basic
foundation of your style and personality.
Modest is an important part of personal development. By being modest you
have the opportunity to control how you expose yourself to the world.
Modesty allows you to control what, how and when you will move forward
but with und understood boundaries to dating that will lead to marriage.
Explore the dating and modesty subject further:
http://www.physiciansforlife.org/content/view/843/27/
http://www.geekforgod.com/2005/10/26/dating-is-it-right-for-christians/
http://yutopia.yucs.org/archives/2007/05/yutopias_guide_to_online_jewish.html